Album: The World Doesn’t End
Track 1: DIDN’T HE DIE?
CALL ME, AND I WILL BE YOUR HAPPY GHOST
CALL ME, AND COTTON WILL COME ROLLING OUT YOUR MOUTH
CALL ME, AND WE WILL BUILD A FAMILY
THE COLD, DARK THING
DIDN’T HE DIE, IN A LAKE
IN A PIT OR A PLANE OR A PLACE WHERE HE’D NEVER GET FREE FROM AGAIN?
DIDN’T WE PUSH AND SHOUT
AND BEAT ALL THE EVIL AWAY INTO POWDER AND MEDICINE?
OUR FUTURE IS LOOKING BRIGHT AS TEETH
OUR FUTURE IS LOOKING BRIGHT AS BEDSHEETS
I HEAR YOU: I’VE MADE A COUPLE MAJOR TWEAKS
I DON’T SMOKE NOW. I PROMISE YOU THAT I WILL NEVER DIE
I HEARD YOU, CALLING ME WITH FEATHERS OUT YOUR TEETH
THE BROWN BIRD, THE BRIGHT BROWN BIRD THAT BROKE THE WINDOW
DIDN’T SHE STOP, WITH THE SOUND
WITH THE COIL OF WORD ON THE TIP OF THE TONGUE LIKE A PAINTED SNAKE?
DIDN’T SHE CHOKE? DIDN’T SHE SWIM?
DIDN’T SHE DRAG HERSELF OUT OF THE HOUSE AND TO JUST GO DISSOLVE AGAIN?
OUR FUTURE IS LOOKING GOOD AS THROATS
OUR FUTURE IS LOOKING GOOD AS CLENCHING
WHEN WE WERE MARRIED ALL MY HAIR FELL OUT
WHEN WE WERE MARRIED
Track 2: THE SUN IS WHITE
THE SUN IS WHITE COME, COME, COME PARTY LIKE YOU KNOW
SOMEONE IS TALLYING THE TICK AWAY
AND WHEN SOME THRUST, SOME THIRST FOR KICKING AT THE BEEHIVE COMES
AND DRIVES ALL OF THE FUN AWAY
MY ARMS WILL OUTPACE ALL SMALL DECENCIES
AND PULL YOU JUST TOO ROUGH INTO ANOTHER PLACE
A MOUTH, A TONGUE, AN EYELID STRUGGLING
TO BLINK, TO PARSE, TO SEPARATE, TO FULL-ERASE
I WILL BECOME YOUR SHADOW
AND DRIVE YOU TO YOUR HOME
YOU WILL MAKE NO MISTAKES WITH ME
I’M SOMETHING DRY AND KNOWN
SO WHEN IT COMES TO DUST AND CRYING AT YOUR DOOR
FOR FOOD, FOR MILK AND FOR A TOURNIQUET
I THINK I’VE SAID THIS MUCH, MUCH BETTER IN A SONG
PLEASE PULL THE TRIGGER AND GET OVER IT
I AM A GHOST, A BREATH, A STAIN UPON A MOUTH
A COUGH MISTAKEN FOR A SUICIDE
YOUR HAIR, YOUR MITT, YOUR CUP, YOUR BELLY AND YOUR BREATH
ARE MAGIC PLACES I CAN CRAWL INSIDE
AND WRAP THE FELT AROUND ME
AND NEVER SPEAK AGAIN
TO LET THE AIR COMPOUND, YOU SEE
TO LET ALL VOICES IN
TO MAKE A KIND OF DIAMOND
WITH EVERY PRETTY WORD
TO BE A BRIGHT BLACK ARMOR
TO BE A BRIGHT BLACK WORD
Track 3: HEADLIGHTS; MICE-LIKE-SNOWFLAKES
I DON’T KNOW WHERE THIS ROAD IS GONNA GO
BUT YOUR NAILS ARE SHARP AND IT’S STARTING TO GET DARK AND I’M YOURS
I CAN’T MOVE, I KNOW MY BODY WON’T APPROVE
BUT YOUR SKIN IS LIKE A LOCK AND THE SKY IS FULL OF CHALK
AND I AM COUNTING DOWN THE BREATH TILL WE DIE
I’D LIKE TO DIG AROUND INSIDE YOU BUT I’M FAR TO SHY
AND THE HOUR’S GETTING LATE, SO THE ROAD IS LIKE A GATE UPON THE SHORES
SO YOU’RE STARTING TO DISSOLVE; IT’S TIME TO HARDEN MY RESOLVE BECAUSE I’M YOURS
SO WE’LL RIDE UNTIL WE’RE NUMB
I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT NAME IT IS
WE ARE TOUCHED, WE ARE BRUISED
I SEE HANDS ACROSS A NECK AND A NOOSE AND I WON’T GO BACK TO THAT
PLEASE BE STILL WHILE I TRY TO GET MY FILL
OF THE SUN OVER THE WHEAT. I AM A FIST I AM COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS
YOU WON’T TALK, YET YOU LINGER LIKE YOU WANT ME
TO WASH OFF ALL THE BLOOD AND START OVER; YOU KNOW WHAT
THE LIFE YOU HAD BEFORE YOU MET ME IS GONE
I WOULD TRACK BACK TO THE MOMENT BUT THE STEPS ARE GONE
AND I’M TIRED OF THE DANCE, SO IF YOU’D LIKE TO TAKE A CHANCE ON YOUR OWN
YOU CAN UNDO ME WITH ONE GO: I AM A HUMAN I CAN SHOW YOU THE STONE
THE LIGHT IS STARTING TO COME UP: I WATCH AN ANTHILL SLOW ERUPT ON ALL FOURS
I DESERVE JUST WHAT I GET. YOUR LIPS ARE WET, YOUR FACE IS SHIT AND I AM YOURS.
AND I AM COUNTING DOWN THE BREATH TILL WE DIE
I’D TELL YOU WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT NOW BUT I’M FAR TOO KIND
AND IF YOU’VE NOTHING LEFT TO SAY
I’M PRETTY SURE YOU KNOW THE WAY SO PLEASE GO
I PUT MY RED SELF INTO THIS BUT IF IT’S ME YOU’RE GONNA MISS IT DOESN’T SHOW
AND THE HOUR’S GETTING LATE, SO THE ROAD IS LIKE A GATE UPON THE SHORES
SO YOU CONTINUE TO DISSOLVE; AND ALL I HAVE NOW IS RESOLVE BECAUSE I’M YOURS
SO IF YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE
AND I NEVER GET THE HANG OF THIS
WE ARE FUCKED, WE ARE USED
I SEE SPARKS UPON THE TIP OF A FUSE AND I CAN’T GO BACK TO THAT
Track 4: NO TITLE
I KNOW A BETTER PLACE THAN THIS
WHERE CLOVER’S ALWAYS GREEN
SO COME OVER
I KNEW YOU WOULDN’T LOSE SO MUCH
OH, THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEAN
COME OVER
I DIDN’T NEED MONEY
SO, ARE YOU ONLY WEALTHY?
BUT I GOT A LITTLE THRILL
I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO YOUR TIGHT FACE
YOU LOOK A LOCK—YOU LOOK A TAD GUILTY
SO, WILL YOU BE MISSING ME?
AS YOU FINGER AT THE FILL
YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW MY LAST NAME
SO UP AND DIE, SO UP AND SPROUT ANOTHER BEST FRIEND
I SEE NOW: YOU’RE INVINCIBLE
WHO CARES YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A PONY
DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO CRY
I HAD A HOME, I MADE A HOME WITHOUT YOU
SO, GOOD LUCK WITHOUT ME
NO, IT WOULDN’T BE THE MONEY
I’LL PLAY WITH A BUBBLE OF SPIT IN THE MOONLIGHT
I HAVE A TON OF FAMOUS FRIENDS
I’M DOGGY OF THE SCENE
PLEASE COME OVER
NOT TRYING TO BE, NOT TRYING TO BE FUNNY
SO, ARE YOU ONLY WEALTHY?
BUT I CAN GUESS AT WHAT THEY MEAN
I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO YOUR TIGHT FACE
THE EYES ARE RED, THE NOSE A BIT RUNNY
SO, WILL YOU BE MISSING ME?
IT’S SUCH A STRUGGLE TO BE CLEAN
YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW MY LAST NAME
SO UP AND DIE, SO UP AND SPROUT ANOTHER BEST FRIEND
I SEE NOW: YOU’RE INVINCIBLE
WHO CARES YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A PONY
DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO CRY
I BROKE A BONE, MY KNEES ARE ON BACKWARD
SO, GOOD LUCK WITHOUT ME
I CAN SEE HOW THIS IS FUNNY
Track 5: THE WORLD DOESN’T END (PART I)
PLEASE STOP THE SONG, I DON’T KNOW THIS DANCE
THE EYES GO WHITE BUT THE BREATH IS WARM AND
I AM SURPRISED THAT YOUR BODY DOESN’T DISAPPEAR WHEN YOU DIE
EVEN WITH ALL OUR CHARM, WE CAN’T MAKE THE JUMP
WHEN YOU THROW CAUTION TO THE WIND AND BUMP UP
ALL OF THE HAPPINESS YOU FISH OUT OF YOUR DRAWER
ALL OF THE HAPPINESS ‘CAUSE HAPPINESS IS MORE LIKE
SOMETHING YOU COULD ALWAYS DO FOR ME
WHEN I GOT TIRED ALWAYS CLEANING UP THE SAME THING:
YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL IT’S TRUE BUT SO IS TURNING OFF A LIGHTBULB
YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL IT’S TRUE BUT SO IS BREATHING
SO NOW YOU’RE BROKEN. IT’S EMBARRASSING
BUT YOU GOT TIRED ALWAYS TELLING ME THE SAME THING:
I’M BEAUTIFUL IT’S TRUE BUT SO IS CHEWING OFF YOUR LIPS
I’M BEAUTIFUL IT’S TRUE BUT SO IS FALLING
AND I TRIED SO HARD TO MAKE A GOOD MOOD
BUT I GOT TIRED ALWAYS CHEWING UP THE SAME FOOD
SO I AM SHOCKED THAT YOUR BODY DOESN’T DISAPPEAR WHEN YOU DIE
AND I WAS SO SWEET TO FAKE A GOOD MOOD
BUT I GOT LONELY ALWAYS SWALLOWING THE SAME FOOD
I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT YOUR BODY DOESN’T DISAPPEAR WHEN YOU DIE
I TRIED SO HARD TO MAKE THE WORDS TRUE
BUT I GOT TIRED ALWAYS SHITTING OUT THE SAME FOOD
I REALLY NEED THAT YOUR BODY DOESN’T DISAPPEAR WHEN YOU DIE
Track 6: THE WORLD DOESN’T END (PART II)
DON’T CLOSE YOUR EYES, DON’T CLOSE YOUR EYES
YOU ARE A DUMB ONE. YOU ARE A WONDERFUL THING
DONKEY OUT THE BEDROOM DOOR
DO WHAT I ASK YOU TO
LIFE WILL NEVER BE SO CLEAR AGAIN
DO WHAT I ASK YOU TO
SAY IT, BE THE TEETH IN MY BLEED
I AM ASKING YOU TO CARE
SILENCE, TEXTURE, GLOSS
REJECT THE VOICE BEHIND YOUR VOICE
DOESN’T GIVE A SHIT, BUT GIVES A DOLLAR
DIAMOND CHOKE-CHAIN THEN HE DOESN’T CALL HER
FOR A WEEK OF CLOUDS, A WEEK OF DYING
THIMBLE FULL OF MEDICINE! HIT THE COUNTER FOR THE WIN!
AND THEN HE HAS A FIT. HE’S GOT A POINT, THOUGH:
SHARE THE SAME FRIENDS, NO PLACE TO GO
CRYING TO THE MIRROR—THAT’S NOT YOUR OWN FACE
GOOGLE HOW TO DRESS AND WISH THERE WERE ANOTHER PLACE
TO DRAG YOUR LITTLE FEET ACROSS A CARPET
WATCH SOME TV, BODY FULL OF TAR, BUT
WASN’T THERE A WORD, A CERTAIN DANCE
THAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FRIEND, HER SPIRIT GOT ANOTHER CHANCE.
(YOUR > HER > HIS > YOUR)
SAY YES
TILL HER BODY CAN’T PROVIDE
TILL INSTEAD OF BLOOD IT’S POWDER
TILL THERE’S NOTHING LEFT TO HIDE
TILL YOU CAN’T LIVE ANY LOUDER
IF YOU CAN MANAGE JUST A WORD
IF YOU CAN MANAGE JUST A REAL LOOK
BUT IT’S SUDDENLY ABSURD
BUT IT’S SUDDENLY THE HOLES BOOK
SO YOU CAN BREAK MY BIRDY BONES
YOU CAN REARRANGE THE HELIX
YOU WILL NEVER BE ALONE
I AM ALWAYS SOMETHING NEW TO FIX
YOU WILL NEVER BE ALONE
Track 7: THIS ISN’T IT
IT ISN’T THE CAR
IT ISN’T THE MONEY THAT YOU’VE MADE
OR ALL THE PEOPLE THAT YOU’RE SAYING THAT YOU ARE
IT ISN’T THE LIE
IT ISN’T THE WAY YOU TUCK YOUR SHIRT IN
OR THAT SOMEONE ELSE IS SCRIPTING YOUR REPLIES
IT ISN’T WAKING UP WITH MILK UNDER YOUR NAILS
IT ISN’T CHOAKING DOWN A PILL WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS
IT ISN’T WAITING OUT YOUR TIME INSIDE A CELL
IT ISN’T SLEEPING OUT THE DAY
IT ISN’T DRINKING OUT THE DAY
THIS ISN’T IT
IT ISN’T THE PLAN
IT ISN’T THE TOOTHY RIGID GRIN
IT’S NOT THE TIE AROUND YOUR NECK OR IN YOUR HANDS
IT ISN’T THE LOSS
IT ISN’T SPECIFYING THE TERMS
IT ISN’T OVERPAYING THE KID
IT’S NOT THE COST
IT ISN’T FLASHES OF A CHEST WITHOUT A SHIRT
IT ISN’T HIDING FROM THE DOCTOR WHERE YOU HURT
IT ISN’T GUESSING AT A FACE
IT ISN’T FALLING INTO PLACE
THIS ISN’T IT
Track 8: YOU WILL HAVE TO KILL ME
I MADE A MEAL OF CHALK AND FIRE
FOR THE TWO OF US BUT WHILE YOU’RE
CHEWING I SEE STRANDS OF MEAT
I SEE THE END COMPLETE, I SEE
THAT YOU WILL HAVE TO KILL ME
YOU LOVE ME LIKE A BEAR LOVES WINTER
LOVE ME LIKE A KNIFE SO SEND YOUR
HAND INTO MY QUIET GUT
UNRAVEL FROM THE LOOSE THREAD
UNTIL YOU’RE SURE THAT I AM DEAD
BECAUSE I DRINK WITH WINGS I SLEEP AROUND
I COERCE PLEASURE FROM THE DOUBT
SO IF YOU WANT TO LOVE AGAIN
YOU WILL HAVE TO KILL ME
SAVE YOURSELF THE SENSELESS GAUZE
OF WAKING EACH DAY IN THE JAWS
OF SOMETHING THAT WILL NEVER LOVE
YOUR ENERGY OF BREATHING
THAT SEES YOU AS A MUTE THING
BUT IT’S EASIEST TO KEEP YOU HERE
ENJOYING THE ATTENTION DEAR
I’LL NEVER HAVE THE WILL TO SAY
THAT YOU WILL HAVE TO KILL ME
SO YOU WILL HAVE TO KILL ME
Track 9: UNICORN
DON’T HOLD ME, DON’T TOUCH IT, DON’T CLEAN AND DON’T WATCH
I WANT NOISE. I WANT VENOM AND LIGHT
SURVIVORS WILL TELL YOU IT’S NOT LOVE THAT FILLS YOU
IT’S FOOD AND IT’S BLOOD AND IT’S NIGHT
I BOUGHT SOME BRIGHT NEW CLOTHES
PLEASE LAY THEM OUT ON TOP OF ME
PLEASE RIG A NEST OF MIRRORS SO I CAN PUZZLE OUT A LOOK
SO WE MADE IT THROUGH THE FALL
AND WE MADE IT THROUGH YOUR BROTHER’S THING
WELL, CALL ME SUPERSTITIOUS BUT THE PLANET LOOKS SO GREY
SO WAKE UP, IT’S EVENING THE SHADES ARE ALL DRAWN
MILKY HEAVEN, A HOSPITAL GOWN
YOU LOOK LIKE MY DAUGHTER IF SLEEP HADN’T GOT HER
LIKE SEA LIFE OR WRIST-WATCH OR DOWN
DAVID, BENJI, TILLY, COLIN AND MARIE, I AM HAPPY
I’M SPITTING UP TEETH
Track 10: THREE LITTLE DEVILS
THREE LITTLE DEVILS, AND THAT’S WHAT I SAY
THREE LITTLE DEVILS JUMPED OVER THE WALL
INTO THE WINDOW AND MURDERED THEM ALL
THREE LITTLE DEVILS WENT OVER THE WALL
THREE LITTLE DEVILS WERE DEVILS TODAY
THREE LITTLE DEVILS AND DEVILS I SAY
THREE LITTLE DEVILS WERE DEVILS TODAY
THREE LITTLE DEVILS, AND WHAT DID THEY SEE
THREE LITTLE DEVILS, THE DEVIL WAS ME
THREE LITTLE DEVILS, AND DEVILS DO SAY
THEE LITTLE DEVILS WERE DEVILS TODAY
THREE LITTLE DEVILS, AND THAT’S WHAT I KNOW
THREE LITTLE DEVILS, AND WHAT DID THEY SHOW
Album: Because I Am Always Talking
Track 1: Because I’m Always Talking
The door is locked; I’ve said a curse to keep it shut.
My brother’s safe; my brother’s body will stop breaking.
I really didn’t plan to find each foot in front of every other.
I really didn’t plan to find my father’s ropy arms at such a special cant.
The blade goes dull because I’m always talking.
My teeth fall out; I find myself asleep again.
The walls have changed: they make themselves of stone instead of plaster.
Become a faun, become a thing that changes shape.
I didn’t really think about the time I’d spend away from being human.
I didn’t really think about the chance of living somewhere past my teens.
I don’t need food, now, because I’m always talking.
I don’t need air or warmth, because the car can drive itself.
I don’t need water: my cells are bricks in cubby holes.
I don’t need memory: my tongue reads like a book.
Track 2: The Water Kept Coming
Your nose was a smear of blue upon the page:
such whiskers, such clean water pours out.
The earth grows grass like bodies grow a song, or a letter or a word.
The earth grows grass like money grows a family tree.
I had a dream love, where fingers were the way to be.
Your shirt was made of wool; your gloves were made of cotton.
The island drank us up—the island became something new.
The island drank us up.
Track 3: It’s Funny
It’s funny how the charcoal makes the water clean,
soaking up the little bits of evil from the thing.
It’s starting to make daylight:
the pinprick in my head and spine are faintly glowing.
It’s starting to make sense now: the helices of Percoset and bits of mind.
I came out here with you because we both agree,
to wallow in the char and kelp is really to be free.
I’m happy that you’re trying—
I’m happy that you brought the food that we will eat here.
The setup on the rock, the pathos flitting in the weave,
our seven-doallar tablecloth, it’s periodic breathing:
I had never thought to come here;
I always hated outings till there were plans to go.
You brace your elbows in the sand
and I control my distant hands with puppeting skill.
It’s funny how your glassy eyes reflecting off the silver sky
could see anything worth making them work.
The plumb and vicious slip of skin, the cool abrasive lock:
my chin is tucked behind your shoulder.
I am breathing up the ground.
You are pretending not to notice that curt, halting, grunting sound.
I fake kissing you.
I fake noises someone else has maybe made.
I think hardly of when your father died.
The feeling of our cleaning up is something like a dream.
I float over the basket and start filling up the thing with honey and water,
with shit from the seagulls stowed away.
I claw and I drop things; I kick some blue animal, a stray.
I snap bits of wicker; I’d love to be glad we came.
Track 4: I Had A Kid
I had a kid to keep the family quiet for a while.
We bathed it, you and I, on our white kitchen’s only-tile.
Is it so obvious? I hope to breathe diamonds soon.
I won’t be long: I hope to find gold there.
So what if we are keeping warm this useless pitch of skin?
It’s coming clear the thing and I are gunning for a win.
Put on your red coat: we’re going out tonight.
I’ve made some money, and we will spend it drinking.
I had a kid to keep the family growing, understand,
that now I see my body nest obscenely in the plan.
Is it so obvious? I want to breathe better air.
I love my family like I love growing business.
Track 5: Old Crow
Old Crow, with unclean maw, I left a note, I sloughed a body.
Please don’t wonder where I’ve gone: the city’s wide; it has clean hands.
In the trunk I kept my clothing; in a sleeve I left some gold.
Buy a houseboy, buy a TV, get new sinks.
I am working for a factory.
The same beak in every well: bits of food upon my fingers.
See this white shirt, with a paling stripe; I’ve become a better person.
See this sweatband, slender food; the city is a fortune.
Old Crow, with lovely feet, I haven’t got a stitch to wear.
I would go out, but every step blooms animals.
Track 6: Odd Exchange
This funny ignorant life:
The squeeze of the laundry;
the dip of your smallish hands.
Desire, oh desire: rigid and dumb, and gut by the real thing.
This odd exchange: a trade like a perfect noise,
not an appropriate way, in wet sock.
Track 7: Quite
It isn’t safe, but it’s not sorry; the gas is growing crystals in the lungs.
It’s not bad, but it’s not perfect: maybe this is just a trial run.
Is this my house? Do I own free weights?
I am a fucking man, my chromosome’s a forked tongue.
It’s my garage: it’s my gas, my car, my time, and my enclosure.
Don’t be last, and don’t be lonely. See a special kind of timing in the leap.
Don’t be cruel, don’t be annoying, don’t sell yourself short.
Is this my ring? I must have four kids.
The dimpled plastic roof is not quite yellow.
Are these my hands? They look like trees choked out by vines.
Is this my breath? It’s more like gun-smoke?
Two fingers pulling greasily at chicken.
Is that the sun? It looks too sharp and clean:
a bubble filling endlessly with air.
Is this my friend? It feels to forced for that.
It isn’t wrong, but it’s not quite right.
Now living feels like whispering at night.
I have a couch, I have a TV now.
Track 8: You Love Me
You love me, even if my body’s laughable.
Even if my body’s break tends to make this awful spraying sound.
You love me, even if my humor’s angry.
Even if I am an only son, the chosen one to soak up your support.
You love me, even if I am a fool for you.
Even if I love to fight, and tonight, well I have made such funny plans.
You love me, even if we have been here before,
laid out leaking on the bathroom floor, leaking anything but like.
You love me, and I wish you would get smarter soon.
Oh, I wish you’d poison every room, so I could take my perfect form.
Track 9: Frog Went A-Courtin’
Froggie went a courting and he did ride
With a sword and a pistol by his side
Ki-mo-ke-mo ki-mo-ke
Way down yonder in a hollow tree
An owl and a bat and a bumble bee
King kong kitchie kitchie ki-me-o
He rode ’til he came to miss mousie’s door
And there he knelt upon the floor
He took miss mouse upon his knee
And he said little mouse will you marry me
Miss mouse had suitors three or four
And there they came right in the door
They grabbed mr. frog and began to fight
In the hollowed tree it was a terrible night
Mr. frog brought the suitors to the floor
With the sword and the pistol he showed all four
They went to the park on the very next day
And left on their honeymoon right away
Now they live far off in a hollow tree
Where they now have wealth and children three
Album: Oh, Light
Track 1: After Bonnie Beecher
(instrumental)
Track 2: I Shot an Apple Off Her Head
These shoes are new, these shoes are ways to talk to you—
and on my face, a little smear of icing.
The sun could be more out; my teeth could be much warmer—
and still this pit of dread: it’s summer.
Oh, little prince, who’s happy in a desk-chair! Oh, evil kid,
I’ve made a secret car, a face in every window,
a hand upon the seat, a knee upon the seat.
Oh, pain! Oh, little button that kills me.
Oh, pain, oh, magic button.
These fists are jewels, these fists could dig a shelter.
Windy days: a splinter in each knuckle.
My face could be more snub; my eyes could be much brighter,
and still the gem of hair, the gem of fingers.
Oh, little light, eking out a tunnel! Oh, ways to be.
Track 3: Scrappy
If death-sweats mean that much to you, the ghostly folk you keep for cold
can sing and do their best—god knows we’re happy trying.
I’d hate to think that all these paper roses I spit up were wasted.
Funny, the angels in the songs were always fiercely white and strange,
that the girl in every part had something over-awful.
He has special powers, he can even nail both hands up;
he’s got help in others, bodies, lovely, flowy armies.
I’d hate to think that all these paper roses I spit up were wasted.
I can’t believe that such a ratio could be spent.
There is some way that by a pressing I restart the thing;
there is some lever I can crank to pull my skin back tighter;
there is a powerful machine to fill the holes inside my bones and teeth.
I’d hate to think that all these paper roses I spit up were wasted.
The times we spent laid back and soaking up another’s chlorine,
it’s worth the little fits and starts and silly happy endings.
Track 4: Laid Out
Laid out and winking, running my own hand over my own skin;
oh, to be the object again.
Hands down, a lovely one. Don’t take this from me.
My own skin, how I love to look at it.
I’m shy, god, don’t judge me, you sick fuck, above—
see, it all fits perfectly.
Track 5: Every Epiphany
Oh, light in my hair, the thoughtless trigger of your thumb,
and the way we caught ash on our tongues.
Track 6: New Life
Since your dip in the cake, the fingers,
rising buoys to the novocain-mouth, like,
isn’t it silly: the drama, the hollow.
Raked special garden of sand,
wet by a trickle of spit from our happy mouths:
this is the year of the new birth. This is the year.
New life: new kinds of oil. New heat: new life.
I found diamonds in my dresser drawer.
Don’t tell anyone—I’m 30; there’s not much time.
Take the cash for a ferry, a hot air balloon.
Just a day now. I’m biding the minutes
till the pressure lets out like a cork.
Oh, brim: secret muscle guarding the soul.
New life: new kinds of oil. New heat: new life.
Track 7: Oi, etc.
Oh, little light, won’t you jump into the seat of my car.
Little light, though you have better things to do.
Snake of hair, running cold across the nape.
The three of us, the three of us—though we have better things to do.
Trick of breath, rasping happy in the lungs. Trick of air. Oh, trick of knowing!
Track 8: Carnival
Come my little ones, I’ve got an angry story:
I got cheated at a carnival—a warehouse of axes to grind.
You know the money that we gave our organs for? Well, that’s all gone,
and the kicker is I’m done too, at the end of this song.
It’s a curse or something; I didn’t listen right. Ask joanna; I just can’t keep up.
Phone your grandparents and tell them that I love their carpet.
It’s something that I’ve never said and god, I hope it doesn’t freak them out.
I haven’t got a lot of words left, let’s see…. Feed the cat, dear—
I would hate for it to gobble you up.
Here’s a thought! Maybe I’ll sing forever like this,
and when I sleep, a dusty bellows for my voice.
I’m just terrified of my silly life. Just terrified.
Track 9: Fox and His Friends
The fellow cut you down—oh no, the subway lights flouresce!
Turned over like a ham: heavy, raw, and sugar-stuck.
And through the day you would have melted like a summer ghost would like;
condense a life of the boredom-fear.
I have clean blood I have clean blood I have clean blood
Foxy little look; a snowy resonance.
Dogs have lots of names. That’s what makes them special.
I have clean thoughts; I lead a clean life. I lead a clean life.
Track 10: I Loved a Girl but She Loved Me
I am waiting, arms across my chest, for you to impress me, dear love.
My fingers are knitting deep into my ribs.
I don’t know how to touch you in other ways.
Track 11: We Give Up
We give up, not to the charismatic leader, but to the theory.
Track 12: Turns Out
Draw a little mouth where the ears should be: I have some bad news.
See, the truck rolled back like a bear, like a good smell.
Turns out I’m sawdust—who would have guessed?
Turns out I’m happy. Oh, the trick of knowing, trickled confidence.
Give me money, give me ways to see
exactly how special this ridiculous pale body could be.
Give me knowledge, give me skills to care.
Dryness so much it could strip off the palette, just slipping an awkward noise.
Darlin’ your sour tongue, collecting the ash. No pretty blood, no upsetting you.
Turns out I’m sawdust—who would have guessed?
Turns out I’m happy. Oh, the trick of knowing, trickled confidence.
Track 13: I Shot Smaller and Smaller Fruits Off Her Head
Go back and dig a magic hole where our great nature was—
I have a feeling everything we’ve done was fun once.
Go back and lay a folded napkin where our hands were,
lay a pile of ash and grapes and what we came here for.
Let’s make a pact that we were swimmers once.
Let’s just agree we made the finals.
Let’s build a monument to all the times we must have had,
and light it up with lanterns and a shadow.
Lately the way the light comes in and singes all the corners
of the room, the hand, the house, the face, the clothing,
it begins to play at the fringe of linen dragging sad along the garden,
as the house picks up to find a cleaner place than this.
Let’s make a monument to memory, as if the home were something other
than sticks and mortar keeping out the rain and murderers.
Of course it is, of course it is, of course it is.
Album: Nightcat
saturday-
let’s start a family to fill up your life on the days when I’m away.
I know (I know, I know, I know) you’ve heard it all,
but still I’d like to think that I tried this once to save you
let’s start a family
life lacks little interlocking plastic crap in yellow red and blue
life lacks something we can throw our lives into
dakota (kota… kota… kota)’s calling me
I know (I know, I know, I know) that it needs me
I know that your mind is not where it needs to be, and somehow mine is
slipping on the hardwood floor
and the baby’s not worth saving
and the doggy’s not worth killing
life lacks little interlocking plastic crap in yellow red and blue
life lacks something we can throw our lives into
bounce-
the kill-christ kid with wooden lungs and sweetheart lips, talcum
tongue, came crawling up to suck my thumb, to suck the vodka off my
pants. I opened up, to let it breathe, to seep the gasses through my
teeth and wiped up supper from my sleeve. the moment finally passes.
my heart, my heart is broken, swinging unchecked, rusty hoses, firing
sweat, smoke, blood, wet roses, vomit, chocolate and heat.
the curly, brown-blond, oily kid bounced up to crack her melon head,
she laughed, rolling one eye, and said, “there’s nothing left here for
me,” so I drink quickly, tuck my teeth behind my dick-suck lips and
leave her loving me, but quietly, there’s nothing left here for me.
my heart, my heart is broken, swinging unchecked, rusty hoses, firing
sweat, smoke, blood, wet roses, vomit, chocolate and heat.
exception/sensitive-
we move inside our clothes
we move inside much bigger things,
you know it proves (it proves, it proves) we’re the exceptions
I like all kinds of books
I like all kinds of movies
*
through the bathroom door, I shouted at her, “let’s go, let’s go,
let’s go!” I’m sensitve (more sensitve than this), most of the time.
I broke a favorite plaything, unfeeling (don’t know what I’d feel. . .).
I’m heavier than I should be.
rooting-
we all want the same things I’m sure; we’re rooting for the fuckups,
and their sloppy way of eating, and their sloppy, happy ways. When
it’s sad, we like to hold it, make it warm and thankful. god, it’s
hard to be alive with everything, when somebody’s crying.
And it’s sad to want to hold them, to think myself to wriggle inside
of them. god, it’s hard to be a human, when I know they’re out there
spreading their patchy, awful inner thighs (they’re beautiful and
they’re ugly and they’re true, right? Anyone who thinks so is a
voyeur and exploitive and a bastard! : )
shooting range-
take me, when I was another, out to the range to shoot with my brother
there, at targets shaped like people, at I-don’t-care.
as we drove back, and I fell asleep in the car, in that way where you
just stop attending, not knowing how far we’d gone or when we’d get
back, I watched the simpsons for a while, and I dreamed I was no
killer.
I would be sorry, if I were sticking around, but at the moment I feel
sorry enough.
all the glasses-
all the glasses, all the glasses, they were clinking
and there were congratulations all around at me
and all the time I wove my fingers rapidly
and tugged all of the stitching from my old black coat.
the time it comes upon us rapidly
the time when we were caught here came up stupidly
celebration, celebration went on all in spite of it
and flames were crawling on all of our velvet shit.
we struck our matches on our lesser friends,,
we struck our matches on our shoeheads
the time it comes upon us rapidly
the time when we were caught here came up stupidly
bad-
it was in the moment of the universal, stinging sense of cold,
that we
felt communion, and in this feeling I was moved
I’ve been bad too fantastically to punish.
I’ve been great to rarely to be punished for this.
we fought on the rooftops, we fought in jeff’s garden’s, we
fought for
a penny. we fought.
(same as above)
I’ve been called a liar, and I’ve come to enjoy it. I’ve been
called
so many things that I’ve come to enjoy.
(same as the first above)
country-
it was a long drive, way out to the country, to stuff acorns
in our mouths and visit local oddities. I stepped out of the
SUV, and a dog came right up to me. I waited till the woman
looked, and kicked at that dog’s tummy. The thing just cocked
its head, and left me. Hard times come down on everybody.
They wanna raise my taxes; the fuckers’re gonna starve my
kids, now. I gotta pay for three cars, and a uniform school, if I
want the things to make about what I do, if I want the things
to suvive. I won’t choke on the acorn, like the book would
have you believe, but it’ll still be bitter.
little animal song-
I was a little bird, living for myself, and everything was dying
to me.
I was a little fish, and all my flippers had gone atrophic. I was
your favorite one.
I was a little dog, and all my fur had come off. Your arms
formed a ring around my stomach like that. Your arms
formed a ring.
the jawbone song-
the (my) body was never so hot than laying stripped down to
nothing in back of your silly van with the seats with fur on
their covers. the body was never so dry but I spit up anyhow,
in spite, perhaps.
the teeth melt down to gum like they were candlesticks, the
gums receded to the jawbone, the jawbone flipped around
worn like a visor.
and the head? it stayed on tight.
every danger is imagined for anyone as lucky as we are, except
the one, and that’s so far off.
The tallest things have tilted over.
My head’s caught between there upper edges, and I am
trapped.
Their corners poke under the softest parts, now.
I am mean, I know it.
I have lived to know the parts that you have liked and yank
them out from under you, but now . . . .
I’m in need. I swear I’m dying, and what’s worse, the schools
that I’ve applied to have accepted me and I just can’t lose that.
remember when we snuck into your parents’ room, and threw
on some of their shit like we were married, and suddenly
when they got home we tore it all off? I tore a seam, I stole
an earring.
We kept our mouths shut, like we knew we should.
Your mother’s lips flapped slower than I thought they could.
Your father, he might have hated you. He might have hit you.
the teeth melt down to gum like they were candlesticks, the
gums receded to the jawbone, the jawbone flipped around
worn like a visor.
and the head? it stayed on tight.
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